Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Regretting
The reason I resent my adoption is because I didnt want to be put in that place to do it. I didnt want to put more on Adrian because he was already going through enough. I didnt give Ethan to my dad and stepmom because I didnt know that he would be right there in reach where I could take him. It doesnt matter that they wanted it so I wouldnt regret it. But when I conutined the pregnancy that is when I regretted it. It is not an easy thing. I dont know how it would have been if he was just 10 minutes away. I dont understand why all the sudden my dad wants us to come around, especially when I have yet to receive some sort of a sorry from him and my grandmother for trying to putting me in that place where I would be more worse off.
Monday, January 23, 2012
First Post
This is my first post for this blog. I will tell you a little about me and my situation. I am a mom and a birthmom. I have a soon to be 5 year old and a soon to be 3 month old sons. I am raising my oldest but I placed my youngest with a wonderful couple.
I did not plan to become pregnant when I did with my youngest, it just happened. I barely knew his father, and I was currently in the process of getting over my oldest father whom I was with for 6 years. When I told my family that I was pregnant, they wanted me to marry the dad, move in with him, and start a life with him. After I told my dad that I wasn't going to do that and I was going to place the baby for adoption thats when the hell started. My mom wasn't supportive during my pregnancy, but she is now. I think I made her proud, I hope I did. My dads side of the family wanted me to give the baby to my dad and stepmom. My dad and I have always had this off and on type of relationship. It got to the point where after I met the guys, he called me and started yelling at me that I posted something on facebook bad about him which made my little sister cry. Which I do not do. Then 2 weeks before I gave birth, they came to pick up my oldest to take him overnight, and they tried to bribe me with a car if they could get the baby. When I told them that they were not going to get the baby because I do not want him growing up and being my "brother" and seeing his brother as his "nephew". Then they told me that they would not do that, but I still digressed. The reason why I was so adimant about it was because when I was pregnant with my oldest they wanted to adopt him because they feared that my ex and I weren't going to be good parents. But here I am, almost 5 years later, being the best parent that my son could have.
Right now, my dads family and I don't speak. I do talk to my little sister thru facebook and via text messages. I know in my heart, I know I did the best possible thing for myself and my sons. The decision was for nobody else but for us. It was the best thing for us as a little family. Even though, as you will see in my future posts, I do have regrets, I do wish things were different, BUT at the same time, I know I chose the best family for him. He is so very loved.
I did not plan to become pregnant when I did with my youngest, it just happened. I barely knew his father, and I was currently in the process of getting over my oldest father whom I was with for 6 years. When I told my family that I was pregnant, they wanted me to marry the dad, move in with him, and start a life with him. After I told my dad that I wasn't going to do that and I was going to place the baby for adoption thats when the hell started. My mom wasn't supportive during my pregnancy, but she is now. I think I made her proud, I hope I did. My dads side of the family wanted me to give the baby to my dad and stepmom. My dad and I have always had this off and on type of relationship. It got to the point where after I met the guys, he called me and started yelling at me that I posted something on facebook bad about him which made my little sister cry. Which I do not do. Then 2 weeks before I gave birth, they came to pick up my oldest to take him overnight, and they tried to bribe me with a car if they could get the baby. When I told them that they were not going to get the baby because I do not want him growing up and being my "brother" and seeing his brother as his "nephew". Then they told me that they would not do that, but I still digressed. The reason why I was so adimant about it was because when I was pregnant with my oldest they wanted to adopt him because they feared that my ex and I weren't going to be good parents. But here I am, almost 5 years later, being the best parent that my son could have.
Right now, my dads family and I don't speak. I do talk to my little sister thru facebook and via text messages. I know in my heart, I know I did the best possible thing for myself and my sons. The decision was for nobody else but for us. It was the best thing for us as a little family. Even though, as you will see in my future posts, I do have regrets, I do wish things were different, BUT at the same time, I know I chose the best family for him. He is so very loved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)